the american music awards

this post is for jamie. just because.

so the ama's are starting... and only 10 minutes in, here are my thoughts:

1. janet jackson is... how do you say... hot!
2. i teared up watching jermaine jackson sing along with janet
3. since when does nickelback still make shitty music? damn.... someone needs to tell them to stop. right now. or yesterday. or years ago.
4. i love that we live in a world that will give a paula abdul another chance.

now on to the rest of the show... some more random thoughts that at least jamie should understand, comprehend, or translate:

• i remember being obsessed with chris daughtry... don't remember it half as well as jamie does, though.
• kelly clarkson.... oh honey, i just love you so much. you're pretty damn amazing, and always have been.
• i'm pretty sure jay-z bothers me as much as alicia keys does not bother me. and i'm also pretty sure that the best thing about jay-z is beyonce's ass.
• nothing screams the american music awards like christian slater............
• what the hell is 'shinedown?'
• i want a group hug with green day. immediately.
• diet mt. dew is a gift from the holy. there is no doubt in my mind. that has nothing to do with the show, but everything to do with my life right now.
• poor kate hudson... you look absolutely amazing, but you should have gotten to walk out there alone. not with her.
• dayamn, fergie.... and yes, i think adam lambert would be a good addition to the black eyed peas. who knows. maybe it could work. but ummm... what's up with playing nirvana? i don't so much care for that.
• i'm confused about band hero and its commercials... blink 182, fall out boy, and weezer (yes i had to look up the later two)
• YESSSSS SAMUEL L JACKSON. let a motherfucker talk! he better be presenting something later.
• since when does carrie underwood have tramps dancing around her? i'm not used to this. can you imagine that conversation at thanksgiving dinner? -- "well, honey, what have you been up to lately?" "oh me? i'm a trashy dancer for carrie underwood. no. really."
• oh gaga...there are no words.
• hottest so far tonight: mary j. and it's already 9:43.
• so this band i've never heard of beat lady gaga, and i don't understand. when the guy on stage asked for a show of hands for people who have never heard of them, i raised my hand. i'd like to see them sit on lady gaga's flaming piano.
• i want to give j.lo a hug. i don't know what happened, but she looks really pissy.
• HELLLLLLLLL YES SAMUEL L JACKSON.
• yes, i am okay with a second dose of alicia keys. thank you for asking.
• okay it's 10:20 now... 40 minutes left in the show, supposedly. at this point, from how they've described adam lambert's performance, i feel like it needs to be the aristocrats meets a gay orgy meets blasphemy meets a drag queen covered in a glitter hurricane. i will accept no less.
• i want green day to cover 'let it be.'
• i think taylor swift seems like a really sweet person, but i just do not understand her appeal. at all. i don't understand seeing her as being all that talented... and i need for her to stop being sweet. and it's just completely ridiculous that she just beat michael jackson for an award. there's something really wrong with the world.
• okay, adam... here we go... well, okay. some dude pretending to give you oral sex gets the cameras off of you... yet women can be all over you. what the hell. and totally not the best vocals ever. by any means. but the thought that it's just supposed to be entertaining is, well, pretty damn true. why does the camera go off of him when he kisses someone? that seems weird. i'll say this: would have liked to see that performance on idol. also, shut up, seacrest.

nails.

an article i found. and i like it.

...hopefully soon i'll have the energy and time to actually write.

weeds

"Sure, death is no big deal, because life is just.... blah, blah, blah."

"It IS just blah, blah, blah. You hope for blah... and sometimes you find it, but mostly it's blah. And waiting for blah. And hoping you were right about the blah's you made. And then, just when you think you've got the whole blah'd damn thing figured out and you're surrounded by the ones you blah, death shows up... and blah, blah, blah."

- weeds

grocery store, ma'am

i bought groceries for work today. the cart was piled so high i could barely see over it. i find great satisfaction in my packing a grocery cart skills. on the way out of the store, it was 3 carts. i'm amazing.

the moral of the story: when you're 25 years old and a 16/17/18 year old guy helping you with your groceries tells you "you have a lot of groceries, ma'am," he laughs when you respond with "no shit, kid." still stings that he called me ma'am, though.

Fireworks and Roseanne

Stayed late at work tonight to do fireworks and make s'mores. 10 hour work day was a bit much, but fun. Now I'm exhausted and watching a Roseanne marathon on tv. Life is good.

random thoughts

i visited jamie this past weekend, and i guess my honest thoughts come out when i'm with her. i could ramble for hours to annoy jamie. it's a skill:

sometimes i'm too lazy to talk, so i grunt a little. my bologna has a first name. i would be in a foursome with ellen page, jason bateman, and alia shawkat. i can't tell if my head's moving. coffee tastes good. my finger's in my mouth. i'm currently writing my own novel, to justify my own behaviors. i break things. stephen colbert is cute. my goal in life is to be a guest on the daily show, or to marry lily allen. or to marry lily allen on the daily show.

if i'm being totally honest...

if i'm being totally honest, here are the things that have made me really happy lately. when work gets stressful, the following (in no particular order) have yet to fail me:

• singing "the fear" by lily allen in my car
• adam lambert - in any capacity
• talking to jamie and kim online in the evenings
• mindy kaling - in all capacities. really, i'm fairly certain she should be my girlfriend. and it would work and be magical. but that's a separate blog entry all of its own.
• doughnuts and fat-free hot chocolate - i figure they even out
• ceiling and attic fans
• will and grace, as long as it's not the last few episodes of the series
• clove cigarettes
• coffee, espresso, coffee, espresso, coffee, espresso, coffee, and espresso
• pictures of jason castro with awkward facial hair
• spending time trying to find something about which kevin jay and i don't agree
  

book

a while back, jamie convinced me that i should write more - choose some topics from my life, and write a life story of sorts. here's the chapters i've written so far:

• Being Gay Brought Me Closer to God
• On Getting Fat, Being Fat, and Staying Fat
• Nothing Matters Anymore: Otherwise Known as American Idol

as you can see, it's already a thrilling read. but really... i'm definitely enjoying the process. and i'm eager to finish (eventually) so jamie can get to writing the forward.

an amazing article

I recently read (and ripped out of the magazine in the doctor's waiting room) a pretty great article. Author Amanda Robb, for Newsweek, wrote a piece entitled "A Casualty of the Abortion War," and it really did a number on me. I tried to find it online, and will keep trying, I guess. Once I find it, I'll post a link. Or, you could look for yourself!

this makes me cry.

it's true. i like it so much, it makes me cry. what do you think?