moments

i posted this list elsewhere a while back, but i wanted to keep it here so i can make additions in the future.

Moments which have taken my breath away:

• I was standing outside after the funeral ceremony for Jill's mother, and I saw Jeff walking out to the door, but I didn't know what the hell to say to him. I stepped away from the group of friends I was with, and Jeff walked outside with open arms. I walked right up to him and we stood there wrapping our arms, minds, and tears around each other for what seemed like hours. I love that man.
• Thea was staying over in Oakwood and I got out of bed because I could actually feel the moment my period began. I was glad Thea was there for that, and it was something I don't soon see myself forgetting.
• I ate at Town Haus on Thanksgiving with Kris. I will never be able to forget the man's face at the next booth...or the horribly disgusting hacking noises he made throughout the entire time we were there. And then walking back out to the truck, I felt content.
• Aaron and I ran to Garver 3rd floor one day when some guy wore his "God Hates Fags" shirt to the union. Multiple people burst into action to see how it could be taken care of, but the way Aaron and I dealt with it was throwing ourselves down on Jamie's floor and bawling our eyes out as we hugged and Jamie looked at us more sorry she had to leave than I've ever seen someone look.
• 5 women. After the MC Vagina Monologues my last time around. We each did a shot and dropped our towels. Touching, paint, pure joy. I keep it with me always.
• Allie and I were on our way to Toronto in my car. The heater was broken. We were fucking cold and eating pretzels dipped in frosting. We realized the frosting was horribly old. We realized "beef fat" was one of the ingredients. We ate rancid beef fat. And it was gloriously funny.
• I drove to Philly for a weekend, and didn't arrive until like 3 in the morning or something crazy. I was beyond tired. But Z opened the door and we stood there hugging and it was just perfect.
• Carrie and me... the entire summer of 2003 which we both spent bored off our asses in Elkhart... Felicity, bagel bites made on the rotating pizza pan dealie, hanging out with her mom, snuggling under a blanket on the basement couch. I felt truly comfortable with myself during that summer, and I owe it to her.
• I was sitting at my desk on GW3 my junior year, talking with Jamie online from down the hall. After two fairly similar emotional breakdowns, some cheesecake, highlighters, and mutual friends, we felt much better.
• Sitting on the mall at MC with Z's head on my lap, Kris resting on Z. I feel strangely lucky to have had that experience.
• Just less than two weeks ago, all dressed up and walking down the aisle before anyone else... trying not to look at Matt, but seeing that sweet sincere happiness in his eyes.

There are plenty more, I'm sure, but that's my list as of now. Sigh.